The facts point in one direction: The job offer you have received is perfect – great salary, ideal location, and tremendous growth opportunities. Yet, there is something that makes you feel uneasy about resigning from your current position and moving on.
What will you do? Ignore the feeling and choose what appears to be the logical path, or do you go with your gut? Perhaps you may consider both your thoughts and feelings about the job in order to make the decision? Solving problems and making wise decisions using both thoughts and feelings or logic and intuition is part of something called Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
If you have been following our blog, you may have noticed that we have devoted considerable amounts of attention to EQ. This is not an accident; our focus on the subject reflects its importance in our ever-changing society.
Many people are interested in improving their EQ for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common reasons to work on your EQ include:
- Wanting to succeed in a leadership role.
- Trying to fit in with a new organisation or new team.
- Attempting to develop or branch out of your network and make new friends.
- Starting a new business and wanting to improve your customer service.
In addition to this, people want to enhance their EQ simply to understand themselves and the people they interact with on a deeper level. There is no downside to becoming more emotionally intelligent and the benefits can be abundant.
Our emotional intelligence affects the quality of our lives because it influences our behaviour and relationships. EQ is synonymous with self-awareness as it enables us to live our lives with intention, purpose, and autonomy. Many of us move through life making important decisions based on our current circumstances. We may perceive them as being beyond our ability to change or control, thus we end up limiting our options and solutions. Taking the time to reflect and examine why we decide to do what we do enables us to lead lives determined by our conscious decisions as opposed to relying on circumstances alone.
Developing EQ can greatly influence our success as well. Our personal situations and intelligence level are indeed factors as well, however, EQ can affect our choices greatly by creating options and opening a variety of possibilities we may not have otherwise imagined or considered before.
Here are some advantages of becoming more emotionally intelligent:
1. Self-Awareness: Individuals with increased EQ tend to be more aware of their internal environment. They are more inclined to realise what is important to them and are committed to their personal growth and development. Due to this they are more open to receiving feedback that will assist them in improving themselves. They are also more aware and sensitive to the feelings of others.
2. Communication: Individuals with high EQ recognise the importance of communicating clearly and respectfully. They know how to handle and approach conflict and to discover the underlying causes of a person’s emotional reactions to certain situations. This allows them to influence others in a calm and reasonable manner, to solve problems more effectively, and to maintain the quality of their relationships.
3. Leadership: Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to control themselves, their emotions, thoughts, and actions in a positive manner. Their self-control assists in their reactions and provides consistency as they influence and connect with those whom they manage. They are able to build trust and make decisions to maintain a positive culture and demeanour amongst the members of their team.
4. Change: Implementing innovations and trying to adapt to needed change can become a source of frustration, anger, or result in a lack of empathy. Individuals who are emotionally intelligent can manage the stress and anxiety that the challenges of change often present. Having the ability to manage a variety of tense situations helps to instil trust and confidence in others while helping them to, easily and confidently, make progress in stressful times.
5. Teamwork: Working with others and considering their various viewpoints is never easy. Having the ability to share ideas openly and honestly assists team members in increasing their respect for one another while also learning to value different points of view. Those who are emotionally intelligent tend to not control or manipulate the team dynamic to get what they want. Rather, they work together to contribute solutions which are best for the common goal or destination.
6. Motivation: Emotionally intelligent individuals are, more often than not, optimistic and not easily distracted when facing a challenge. They have a growth mindset and persevere despite facing various obstacles. They are often driven by a sense of ambition to be successful no matter what the situation may be. They refocus their attention on the original purpose and process when things get tough, rather than assigning blame externally.
7. Relationships: The quality of your relationships has a direct impact on the respect you have for one another. Knowing how to build and maintain effective relationships is one key building block to effectively working with others. Individuals with high EQ do not take the negative emotional reactions of others personally. Instead, they seek to understand the source of others’ feelings and the values that are important to others. This allows them to effectively engage with others rather than avoid those who might react more emotionally.
Here are some practical tips you can add to your routine to develop EQ:
- Teach your children how to greet others and how to ask others how they are, what they have planned for the day etc. In doing this, it will also foster their genuine interest in others and their well-being.
- Teach your children the different ways that they can respond to specific feelings, conflicts, or problems.
Talk about your own feelings with your children.
“Remember yesterday when the water in the bathtub would not go down the drain? Mommy got so angry and do you remember what my face looked like when I got angry? Can you make an angry face like Mommy’s?”
Talk about different ways you deal with specific feelings.
“When I get angry, I take a deep breath, count to three, and then try to think of the best way to deal with my problem with a calmer mind.”
- Make an emotion book with your child. All you need is paper, crayons or markers, and a stapler. You can make a book about one emotion and have your child fill in the pages with things that make him or her feel that way. For example, a “Happy Book”.
In teaching your children how to become aware of their emotions and how they can react to them in a positive and healthy manner, it will equip them with the skills that they will need when they are adults.
“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence. It is not the triumph of heart over head – it is the unique intersection of both.” _ David Caruso