Children with a strong sense of self-worth feel competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and feel worthy of success and happiness. Naturally, parents want to provide for their children and protect them from harm. However, as a baby develops into a toddler and begins to gain more independence, the role as a parent begins to change. Your child is evolving into their own person and needs the opportunity to develop and practice emerging skills for healthy development.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to provide a safe environment for your children to explore and develop healthy patterns of self-esteem building and experience the concept of success following effort and persistence. It is important for your child to have age-appropriate experiences, encouragement, and empowerment from you as well as from their teachers. It is imperative for children, especially toddlers, to try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed! Persistence will help them to develop ideas about their own capabilities while creating a strong self-concept.
Children who feel good about themselves have the confidence to try new things. They are more likely to try their best in the tasks that they are involved in. They feel proud of what they can do. Self-esteem helps children cope with the mistakes they will make. It helps them develop the courage and resiliency to try again, even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps children respond more positively towards school, the home environment as well as interactions with their friends.
It is essential to believe in your children. Provide them with the opportunities to have their own experiences. Encourage independence and stand back at an arm’s length in order to allow your child to show you that they can do it. If they cannot, that is also okay. Teach them how they can learn and improve from these mistakes. Be proud of your children. Tell them every day how proud you are of them when they have accomplished something new or when they have succeeded in something that they have been struggling with. You will be amazed how independent, confident, and capable your child can become.
Here are some tips that you can do to encourage positive self-esteem:
1. One hug, one kiss, one goodbye: How you react to their actions can help to raise their self-confidence. When you drop your child off at school, it is important that you give them a sense of confidence. Allow your child to walk into the classroom, hold their own school bag, and remind him or her that “Mommy & Daddy will always come back after school, and you will have a wonderful day!”
2. Give your child time: It is easy to be in a rush or want to do things for your children. SLOW DOWN! Instead, let your child help you with your daily routine to encourage self-help skills and independence. They are excited to help with simple tasks such as getting their own shoes, feeding themselves, putting toys away etc. Do not do it all for them. They gain a sense of confidence and accomplishment when they have the opportunity and the time to practice basic skills.
3. Provide support: Your toddler’s growing independence means that he/she is starting to venture out and explore their environment. Help to instil a sense of confidence in this developing independence by providing support to your toddler in their explorations. As they begin to gain the courage, express their emotions, and problem solve, use your words to explain to your child what may have happened if things did not go as expected and what they can do next to solve the matter and move forward.
4. Let them know that mistakes are learning experiences: No one is perfect. Explain this to your child. The way you react to your child's mistakes and disappointments colours the way he/she will react to similar incidences in the future.
5. Spend one-on-one time with your child: Whether it is going for an ice-cream or taking a walk in the park, try to schedule some alone time with your child at least once a week. This is a great opportunity to talk about what is on their mind and to further cement the bond between the two of you.
6. Help foster a growth mindset: Help your child reframe their negative thoughts and statements. Children with a growth mindset believe that their abilities and certain situations can improve over time. Unpack their feelings with them. Provide them with alternative positive thoughts and statements as well as means to rectify a mistake during these interactions. In doing this, your children will learn to think of and look at the positives and effectively problem solve in difficult situations.
A positive sense of self is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child. Children with high self-esteems feel loved and competent. They also have increased chances of developing into genuinely happy, productive, and independent people.
“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.” _ Matthew Jacobson